Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce Court Judge said, "And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week." That's very fair, your honour," the husband said. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself."A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, "I don't like the looks of your wife at all..." Me neither doc," said the husband. "But she's a great cook and really good with the kids."An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."Two reasons why it's so hard to solve a redneck murder:1. The DNA all matches.2. There are no dental records.A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to. . What? Who are you to dare set foot here? And, you are Dragonborn. I can feel it. And yet...” He paused, which gave me time to ready myself. “So, you have slain Alduin ... Well done. I could have slain him myself, back when I walked amongst men, but I chose a different path. You have no idea of the true power a Dragonborn can wield! MUL QAH DIIV!”He began glowing, taking on the aspects of a dragon. I started clapping my hands in applause. He looked at me in fury. “You mock my power?”“No, I simply laugh at it.” In quick succession, I also shouted MUL QAH DIIV and then GOL HAH DOV. The dragon behind Miraak turned his head and began breathing fire upon the Daedra. Miraak turned in shock. “What? How can you...”I then shouted FUS RO DAH, scattering the Seekers and rocking Miraak back on his heels. He pulled his sword. “You have some skill, Dragonborn. But I am the First Dragonborn and will not...” I shouted LIZ SLEN NUS, Ice Flesh Statue, freezing him solid.“Will not what, Miraak? Be so.
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