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. way it was.I always kept in touch with Mom, mainly by phone but occasionally we would meet for a meal. I felt bad for her, she felt masses of guilt over my eviction, although it was none of her doing. To an extent I shared her in obvious dissatisfaction and pain. Sweet and caring as she was, and despite doing everything she possibly could for my Dad, this was a woman who was never, ever paid any compliment, bought flowers or even a meal out, unless it was to help entertain his business partners. Try to persuade her as I would, she would never countenance leaving him. Call it what you will, the love she must have had for him, the way he totally controlled her, or her chronic lack of self-esteem, she was in a rut with him, and she would not do anything to get out of it. Looking at her was ever like watching a butterfly trapped in the grip of a calloused human hand. Well, the drink, as it does, found him out in the end, and he left her a widow at forty six. Naturally I never. You know the ones you won’t even tell your spouse about because you be twisted. You still have to accept that you have them and then process them responsibly so you don’t mess up your life or the lives of the ones you love.It’s the same with other emotions. If you are enraged are you going to rant, rave, and cuss. Maybe take a broom handle and beat the shit out of your mattress(I enjoy that one.) or will you lock and load and take care of your business? The choice and the consequences are all yours. So you need to know and understand yourself or you can get into serious trouble.Enough of that, My last couple weeks have been hard. I became a poster child of forgetfulness as well as being lackadaisical about my responsibilities. I was also having to use my cane because my balance was shit. I also had a severe case of stupid. Have you ever opened a car door and then couldn’t remember how to sit in the seat? You won’t like it. Round it off with severe Aphasia and there is my last few.
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