She's growing up so fast. It is only fair to let her know as much as I can. I wonder if this has something to do with the breakup with Mark. I try to force the image of her in the bathtub naked and touching herself out of my mind and answer her question like a father should."Mmm, how do boys feel? Well, it's like a pressure and a nervous excitement all at the same time. Your body feels all tense and ... electric. You are more sensitive to touch and sounds are a bit louder and lights are brighter. You can feel your heart thumping like crazy in your chest and you're just full of energy. Ummm... ," I feel my mouth get dryer but I push on. I am only occasionally looking over to try for a bit of eye contact but most of the time I'm talking forward to the TV. "You know, I'm sure, that a boy will get an ... an erection. And that feels very good to him. And he will want to be touched ... there and he will want to touch the girl also; all over. Plus there's the kissing of course."I feel like. "Be good for Ms Gloria, maybe she well cut your hair and give you aproper boy's hair cut. The school has been complaining about you havinglong hair. Remember she cut hair for years before she got married. Loveyou honey."Waving good-bye... "Okay mom I will be good." I run out to the bus thatstops right at our house. I get on the bus, and the driver looks at meshaking his head.I sit in the front with the other kids my size while the kids in myclass sit all the way to the back. I twist hair around my finger as wedrive to school. Little Alice comes and sits next to me. I smile at herwhile she stares at me playing with my hair so I put my hands in my lap."I thought for sure you would have your hair cut today Robin. I meanRobby, but if your hair grows any longer, everyone will be calling youRobin because your hair looks so long and girly. I like your hair, it ispretty."I listen to her teasing but I like her. "The nuns told you your hair hadto be cut short like all the other boys or they.
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