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. "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot."OLD" IS WHEN ... An "all-nighter" means not getting up to use the bathroom.AND"OLD" IS WHEN ... You are not sure these are jokesThese are compliments of DennisThe North Dakota Department of Labor claimed a small Bismarck farmer was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to investigate him.Department of Labor employee: I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them.Farmer: Well, there's my farm hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board.Then there's the mentally challenged worker. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night so he can cope with life. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally.NCDL employee: That's the guy I want to talk to ... the mentally challenged one.Farmer: That would be me.A foursome of. I know this was supposed to be a celebration and I guess it is in a way."Tommy offered me the job as shop foreman and I want to thank him for that. But sir, I'm gonna have to turn it down because as of today ... I quit. Sorry to spring this on you and I'll understand if you don't want to give me a good reference but I'm gonna be gone tomorrow no matter what happens."I watched the startled faces as Tommy opened his mouth to say something."Doug, this is a party and my home," he said sternly."No disrespect to you, sir. You've been more than fair with me and I owe you an explanation but there are others here," I said coldly, "that I sure as hell don't owe anything." Doug?" Martha said."Martha, I think you and the rest of your little coven have done more than enough to me. I'd made it very clear I didn't want to date anyone and I sure as hell made it clear I didn't want to be anywhere near my ex-wife. Apparently, what I want ain't important. So, I'm either gonna speak now or I leave for.
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