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‘The teacher replies, ‘The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.’Then little RALPHY says, ‘I have a question for YOU.There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?’The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, ‘Well, I suppose the one that’s gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.’To which little RALPHY replied, ‘The correct answer is ‘the one with the wedding ring on, but I like your thinking.’LITTLE RALPHY ON MATHLittle RALPHY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.‘Why’ asks the father?‘The teacher asked ‘How much is 2 x 3?’ ‘‘I said 6”, replies RALPHY.‘But that’s right!’ says his dad.‘Yeah, but then she asked me ‘How much is 3 x 2?’‘What’s the fuckin’ difference?’ asks the father.‘That’s what I said!’LITTLE RALPHY ON ENGLISHLittle RALPHY goes to. She wants to name him Thomas. He was my great-grandfather or something."Tommy felt the pride in his chest swelling. He didn't think that the new baby's name had anything to do with a great-grandfather. "Don't you like the idea of having a baby brother?" Well that's not so bad. It's just that my mother is so old." Hmmm," he replied. "I'm sure that he's going to be handsome and smart seeing as how his big sister is so beautiful and smart."Now Samantha really blushed. "You remembered my name too," she beamed."Yeah, well I feel like we almost know each other. I'm surprised that I didn't recognize you right away. If I remember right, your nickname is Sam isn't it? And your younger sister's is Tabby?" Glad for the change of subject, Samantha nodded. "She's a couple of years younger that you isn't she?" Again Samantha nodded. "Does she have a boyfriend yet?" No, dad says we can't date until we're sixteen." Seriously? Somewhat as pretty as you? What a waste." Of course I'm old enough I just.
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