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’ ‘Now that we understand each other, where can we finish this conversation?’ We were smiling and obviously joking-flirting. I was old enough to be her father (and if I had gotten dispensation to marry at age fourteen, her grandfather). She wore no ring, but may have taken it off while performing. More importantly, I had given Charlotte my word of honor 40 years ago, If a man’s word of honor is worthless, what’s the rest of him worth? Charlotte and I agreed from the inception. No physical violence, no fucking around, any of that, the other is gone, no second chances. Just before we met, she had left a ten-year, extremely psychologically abusive, relationship with a Class-A piece of shit disguised as a man. He had cheated constantly, raped her frequently, and impregnated her so she had to get an abortion, which almost killed her. But for the fact I would have gone to jail and lost her, I would have killed the son of a bitch. Anyway, God took care of it. The bastard died later of. Was Lauren right; she'd teased me the previous evening about being a 'man slut' because of all the sex I'd had so far on my road trip? So what? Hadn't Karen done just that? I had a growing list of women across the country for whom I felt loving feelings. Some were unattached and had obviously loved me back: Lauren, Betty Sue, Pat, and now Crystal and Ellen, whom I'd hated to leave more than the others. Some were attached but loved me anyway: Kim and June at the top of the list; Kim was the most special.The sex and the other women helped me ease my grief about losing Karen – not forget, but to push my grief about her death behind me for a little while until it surged forward again and overtook my every thought and brought me to my knees with grief. I felt guilty about the past week – my time with Crystal and Ellen, and playing the role of country singer and celebrity. Between long workdays making recordings – great country music – and the sex I shared with Crystal and later her sister,.
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