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I wander nameless and aimless. People see me but never know my name or care to ask if I am okay. I go through the same routine like clockwork. Nothing ever changes, people use me and I do nothing to stop it. I am lonely. I put on a mask everyday from when I wake up until I go to sleep. Do I even know who I am anymore? Have I become one with the charade that is my life? No I havent. Ive just buried the real me under everyone elses needs, problems and worries. She is still in here somewhere, hiding, pretending everything will be fine as long as no one knows she is still here. No one liked her so she changed, she became who everyone wanted her to be. The friend, the protector, the supporter, the comedian, the chauffeur, the chef, the perfect daughter but no one actually asked HER who she wanted to be. They assumed I was the real me not who they wanted me to be, no wonder I have anger issues honey. Being all those things, with people pulling me in a million directions at once, I will. I was far from any restaurants and wasn’t sure if I’d find the general store I had passed a half hour earlier so I kept going, thinking eventually I’d find a place to get some food. While driving, I passed a narrow road and an old wooden bridge caught my eye. I suddenly stopped my car, not sure why, but I wanted to go over that bridge and see where that road took me. So I backed up and turned onto the road, crossed the small rickety wooden bridge, noticing it went over a creek with fast moving water. It reminded me of the creek near where I grew up and fell in love with trout fishing. The road twisted and turned and I liked how the Maple trees with red leaves on both sides of the road created a colorful arch, almost like a tunnel I was driving through. It was magical with occasional bursts of sunlight poking through sending radiant sunbeams down to the road. I knew I was driving west because at one spot as I drove over a hill, the setting sun came through an opening and was shining.
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