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I can't just brush offwhat she is saying. I know, even though I hate to admit it, that Iplayed a role in my crossdressing and shame. I want to believe it'ssomething that my mother did to me, while I was an innocent victim. Ifit's something that my mother forced me into, then I feel the sexualexcitement without having to feel the guilt of having these strong taboosexual desires and fantasies. But the truth is I want to be humiliated.I get off on it. As I confront the fact that I deeply desire thesetorments, and that I initiated some of the activities, I feel a tidalwave of shame."Tell me, Justin," she continues. "Confess to me another time you tookthe initiative in some naughty deed."The memory instantly pops into my mind. "I joined the panty-of-the-monthclub," I admitted."The what?" my therapist laughs."The panty-of-the-month club," I repeat. "I saw it in one of mommy'sCosmo magazines. Often, when mommy was out of the house, I'd sneak intoher bedroom and look in Cosmo at the. I knew that Iwanted to be spanked by Laura, more than anything else in theworld, but I also knew that from here there was no going back.Everything prior to this day could yet have been laughed off as aharmless kink, a fantasy got out of hand. But once I'd allowed mywife to spank me, while dressed as a maid no less, then the lasttrace of my manhood would be gone, and I would be her sissy maidforever.Laura ran her hand over my butt cheeks, feeling them through thenylon and layers of satin. "Is this really what you want Bruce?"she asked, calling me by my male name, for the first time inweeks. "Do you want.. do you need me to spank you"Knowing I couldn't live without it, I willingly gave in to her "Ohplease yes, Mistress, I need it so much. Please spank me.." andbefore I could begin to beg and plead in earnest, I felt thefirst wonderful stinging slap across my pantied buns. "Sissy, sissy, Sissy sissy" she cried with each slap. And Ibucked against her soft thighs, and.
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