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The mom asks, “Why on earth do you need that?”The little boy replies, “isn’t that what you give daddy when HIS shit won’t get hard?!”This compliments of Mario MComplaints to wife and replyTo My Dearest Wife,During the past year, I have attempted to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of only once every 10 days. The following is a list of why I didn’t succeed more often:We will wake the kids - 54 timesIt’s too late - 15 timesI’m too tired - 42 timesIt’s too early - 12 timesIt’s too hot - 18 timesPretending to be asleep - 31 timesThe neighbors will hear - 9 timesHeadache or backache - 26 timesSunburn - 10 timesYour mother will hear us - 9 timesNot in the mood - 21 timesWatching the late show - 17 timesToo sore - 26 timesNew hairdo - 6 timesWrong time of the month - 14 timesYou had to go to the bathroom - 19 timesOf the 36 times that I DID succeed, the result was not always satisfying because 6 times you just laid there, 8 times you reminded me that. ’ ‘It won’t blow over,’ Ed disagreed. ‘Something like this will get people really inflamed.’ ‘We just have to pretend we don’t know what they’re talking about, for now,’ Nathan repeated. Ed nodded in assent. ‘There’s something else that we haven’t discussed.’ ‘What do you mean?’ Nathan asked. ‘James has that ‘off-the-record’ Math student in his apartment for his tutoring sessions.’ Nathan slapped himself on the forehead. ‘Raymond Jacobs! I forgot all about that! We’ve got to get that changed!’ ‘I don’t want to give up tutoring Raymond!’ James protested. ‘We’ve just got to change the place—but it can’t be on school grounds,’ Ed declared. ‘I’m getting all kinds of heat from Doris as it is.’ ‘Doris’ mother already saw Raymond at my rooming house,’ James informed them. ‘If we move him now it will look like we’re covering something up,’ Nathan said. ‘Just carry on like you have been, to show that there is nothing wrong going on.’ Ed took a deep breath when Nathan said it, showing his.
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