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"You are not staying here tonight," I promised as I hugged my daughter even tighter."I was fine until you came," Melissa said huffily as we both tried to regain our balance. Then she said, "Mr. Caputo?" when Mario's head popped up through the foliage."Afternoon Miss Scouries," he greeted as he shyly tried to avert his eyes."But ... I mean ... what are you ... Daddy?" Melissa stammered as her eyes jumped back and forth between us.I said nothing as I watched Mario take in Melissa's new home. "Jesus," he finally muttered as he slowly shook his head. "Are you trying to kill yourself Miss?" It's perfectly safe," she insisted but I could see a concern growing in her eyes as hers followed his."You're going to live up here twenty-four hours a day for how long?" Mario asked as he slowly shook his head. "Heck, you know better than that Miss S," he scolded."All of us are in the same boat," my daughter responded. "It's to save these trees for future generations, don't you understand? We didn't. .Woman:Do you drink beer?Man: YesWoman:How many beers a day?Man:Usually about 3 draft Bock beersWoman:How much do you pay per Draft Bock beer?Man: $5.00 which includes a tip(This is where it gets scary!)Woman:And how long have you been drinking?Man:About 20 years, I supposeWoman:So a Bock beer costs $5 and you have 3 Bock beers a day which puts your spending each month at $450. In one year, it would be approximately $5400 correct?Man:CorrectWoman:If in 1 year you spend $5400, not accounting for inflation, the past 20 years puts your spending at $108,000, correct?Man:CorrectWoman:Do you know that if you didn't drink so much Bock beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?Man:Do you drink beer?Woman:NoMan:Where's your Ferrari?This one was Submitted by Schop:There was a middle aged man who had been having daily migraine headaches every day for the past.
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