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Chuck’s c***dhoodNot much is known about Chuck’s early life. Chuck Norris has no mother, as crawling out of a vagina is unbecoming of a man of his stature. Chuck Norris spontaneously came into existence on Karl Marx’s birthday. This was no accident since Chuck Norris is the polar opposite of communism’s yin, and the very thought of communism makes Chuck Norris Want to puke.Chuck Norris Defender of FreedomChuck Norris has fought in every American war including the American Revolution, The War of the Worlds, Korean War, Vietnam, Desert Storm, Black Hawk Down, World War 1, World War 2, Red Dawn, American Civil War, the Iran-Iraq war (on both sides simultaneously), and the War on d**gs. The only war Chuck has not fought in was the French and Indian war because Chuck Norris could give a shit less about the French, in Chuck’s opinion the French complain to much and deserve to get their asses kicked. Chuck Norris wins by attrition.Chuck’s Favorite Foods:WhiskeySteel WoolSometimes when. One of mine was having an affair with an older guy ... which surprisingly two other friends also had similar fantasies.The thing was I started having sexual fantasies about this guy ... what I'd let him do if we ever got to meet ... my finger suddenly becoming his penis. I found myself responding more and more to his smiles and little waves ... encouraging him I guess, the more I responded the greater his confidence became.It was the week of our exams. I'd pinched one of dads' cigarettes to smoke later in the day ... I know, I know smoking's not good for you ... stunts your growth or something.I was in the high street and had just taken a lungful of nicotine when the guy came out of the shop and banged straight into me ... suddenly my heart was racing like mad and my legs turned to jelly."Oh sorry love ... my fault ... should have been looking where I was going ... you OK?" he asked"Oh ... yes ... yes ... thanks" I stammered.He produced a packet of cigarettes, removed one and asked.
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