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We grabbed a table by the window and ordered our food. The waitress made it a point to add that we were the cutest couple she had ever seen. When she walked away I said to John, "Huh, if she only knew!" He cracked a smile and grabbed my hand across the table. It was like he wanted everyone to know we were together. I wasn't worried. John lived far away from here and no one knew him. John squeezed my hand tightly as he told me he loved me. He went into detail and expressed his true feelings. He told me how he had been in love with me for a long time and thought of me often. I told him that I felt the same way and expressed that I wished we could be together. I felt like an idiot for falling in love with my cousin, but at that point I didn't care. He surprised me with his next statement. John told me he wanted to me to come live with him in Boston. Without a hesitation I said yes. He smiled a big smile and sighed in relief. Over a period of a week, I sub-letted my apartment and packed. I did throw a tantrum the next day after lunch, screaming and crying and generally calling him all the words I had learned from the boys that I knew I wasn't supposed to know yet. It was a good fit and took nearly an hour for daddy to get me calmed down enough to talk to me. He was thinking all the things I thought he was. He regretted losing his little girl. He liked me when I dressed up in dresses and pastels. He liked my hair done up in the elaborate styles that mommy used to do. He found it cute when I used to play with my dolls or my tea set or my play kitchen set. In short, he missed his little girl and he thought it was his fault she was gone. He was trying to get her back.I wiggled down from the chair he had thumped me down in and climbed up into his lap. Really looking at him, I was shocked to suddenly realize how much older he was looking. I guess we both had been drifting along on autopilot since mommy died. His black hair was no longer cut really short and brushed nice..
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