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As we drove towards her school, Chelsea pulled a marijuana cigarette out of her purse, saying she had swiped it from her sister. So down the road we went, windows rolled up getting high as kites. The pot was extremely potent, and after smoking only half the joint I put the rest in my pocket, saving it for later. Chelsea laughingly said she would be the navigator, and directed me on a route that took us to an absolutely massive complex of buildings - the Queen of Russia shopping mall. As I suspected, she led me this way on purpose. Chelsea told me this was the largest mall on the east coast, with eight department stores and over 350 specialty shops - a regular "Who's Who" of retailing. It was just prior to 10 A.M., opening time at the mall, and on a whim I said we should go in. Chelsea had hoped I would say this! She said that school was boring, and that the mall was her favorite place in the whole world. So I turned off the highway and into a sea of parking lot asphalt, knowing that I. Maddy led us inland and in a few minutes I could hear cattle. Only a bit later, I could smell them, too."Here's your heifers," Maddy said. "Around 500, you said?" Yup. Exactly 500. There was 573, an' that feller from Undelaroo or someplace bought 50. And 23 of 'em ain't cows." Undoolya," I said."Right." Charlie shrugged. "So 573 less 50 is 523." Very good, Charlie. Very good." Maddy gave him a grin. "Now, what's the best way to see if they're OK?" Waal. First thing to do is count the legs." Hunh?" Yep. Count the legs an' divide by four. Then you know how many you got." He laughed. "Damn! That's the way we useta trick kids. If they come up with an odd number, we'd tell 'em they needed to learn the difference between legs and tails." OK. OK. But what do you want to do?" We'll just ride through 'em slow an' look 'em over. If there's one lyin' down, she's a goner. If one of 'em looks unhappy, we'll look closer. I ain't gonna count 'em now."So we rode among the cattle, not in a bunch..
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