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Secretary: This means that on formal occasions we wear kilts.Scot: Aye, so do I.Secretary: You are aware that we wear nothing under our kilts?Scot: Aye, neither do I.Secretary: But you are a Jew?Scot: Aye, I be that.Secretary: So you are circumcised?Scot: Aye, I be that too.Secretary: I am terribly sorry, but the members just would not feel comfortable with that.Scot: Och, away with ye, I ken ye have tae be a Protestant to march with the Orangemen, and I ken ye have tae be a Catholic tae becoom a Knight of Saint Columba, but this is the first time I ever heard ye had tae be a complete prick tae join a Golf Club!!!This is compliments of J. P.The New Republican TruckI stopped by the Ford Dealership yesterday, for a look at the new F-150 aluminum pickup. Just for fun, I took it out for a test drive. I wanted to sense that new truck “feel” before they become old.The salesman (a handsome, gay man wearing a “Hillary for President” lapel pin) sat in the passenger seat next to me, describing. Tjen saved me – dragging me backwards as the blazing projectiles peppered the wall. The wood and wallpaper caught immediately. Flames roared along a decorative tapestry. The pictures of my family which hung on the wall burned and the frames cracked as Tjen dragged me away.“Let me go, let me at them!”“No, Gipp, we have to get out!”From the first floor, I could hear Sinclair’s shriek. “You idiot! We need them alive! Torg, up there!”“It’s burning!” Torg wailed like a banshee.And then we were in my room. I shuddered and coughed – smoke was already starting to fill the room. The flats that filled the building were tightly packed, and I could already hear the screams. People had been able to ignore or at least question the gunshots. But no one could ignore a flame.“Gipp!” Tjen jerked my attention to her. She slapped me in the face. The impact did more than just jar me – I felt her thoughts rush through mine ... and for a moment, the grief of my father’s death was ... it wasn’t gone. It.
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