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I couldn’t believe that I ever thought we had anything in common… he was an asshole, and I wasn’t—that was simple enough. I was clearly pissed off that night. I made up my mind not to masturbate, knowing that if I bottled it up, the next time I did have sex (as long as it was with anyone but you know who) the orgasm would be explosive. I logged on and started downloading a few of my favorite old stories from eroticstories.com and a couple of other sites, so I’d at least have a decent fantasy to fall asleep with to stoke the fires of my new-found celibacy of self-imposed sexual torture. After I logged off at around 11, my phone started ringing immediately. I picked it up, thinking it was my best girlfriend Paula, I couldn’t wait to tell her of yet another amusing sexual fiasco with her favorite male subject of my sexcapades… if anyone could see the lighter side of things, and get me to laugh about the torture I go through with Matthew, it was Paula—of course it was only because she. I need to be a good little whore. I need that cock. A good little whore knows that all of her pleasure comes from her Master. I need my Master’s cock. The thoughts became a mantra.If I did this, he wins, and I lose. What did I have to lose? I already lost my money, my home, my way of life. Well, I could also lose Shirley, I remembered. I didn’t even have self respect. I lost that this evening when I took him willingly into my mouth.This would just be a continuation down a path I’ve already started.How bad could it be?This is the man that took everything from me, maybe even my own daughter. He was the one that was in a position of domination over me. And he wasn’t even ordering me to do this. If he did, I could easily tell myself I had no choice. But the little shit wasn’t ordering me, even though he knew he could. And I was helpless against his dominance. I could still not want to do it, but my body wanted it; it craved it. He was still taking everything, and I was now abetting my own.
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