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A few times they'd both be up on the table with their pussies at either end and a stream of horny males rotating through both women.Flab Control. That's what I labeled the new chart on my desk. I had laid out an exercise program for myself based on an amalgamation of similar programs I'd found on the Internet. My goal was to lose fifteen pounds, and end up looking like Matthew McConaughey, complete with six-pack abs, bulging muscle, and that square jaw look instead of the weak chin I now had. Amber just laughed when I told her that.In any case I started to jog. My first week I was wheezing so hard after running a few blocks from the condo that I thought I'd expire before I could make it home at a slow walk. By the end of my first month I could do three miles without a problem. I kept ratcheting up the distance I was jogging.I had just gotten up to the five mile mark when one morning as I standing outside the condo getting ready to run. I was resetting the magic wristband that I wore. He whispers to the usher “This is a mystery, and I have to watch a mystery close up. Get me a better seat, and I’ll give you a handsome tip”. The usher moves him into the second row, and the man hands the usher a quarter. Yep. 25 cents. The usher looks at the quarter in his hand, leans over and whispers “The wife did it”.A man stood outside his house after a bitter divorce and noticed a crate of beer bottles. He took out an empty bottle and smashed it onto the wall swearing “You are the reason I don’t have a wife”. He smashed the second bottle “You are the reason I don’t have children”. He smashed the third bottle “You are the reason I don’t have a job”. When he took the fourth bottle, he realized that the bottle was still SEALED and filled with beer. He said to the bottle “YOU STAND ASIDE, I KNOW YOU WERE NOT INVOLVED”.An explorer in the deepest Amazon suddenly finds himself surrounded by a bloodthirsty group of cannibals. Upon surveying the situation, he says quietly to himself “Oh.
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