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Then my heart started to race. Unless it was just to keep me from his phone. No. There was no way. Not after what was going on between us. I had to banish these thoughts from my mind. Peter was not going to cheat on me, not next Friday or any other day. I am not sure where his head had been in the past few weeks, but one thing is for sure, I knew where it is now. I knew then that we would have to discuss this in some way and try to get past it. I was still really hurt. As soon as anything reminded me of what was going on behind my back made me feel so sick, and it was a taint on our relationship. It was better that I knew he was not unfaithful to me, but I still hated the thought of that shared intimacy with the other woman that I had seen that day. And I needed to revert just a little to my plan again. I did not want Peter to suffer, but I did want him to have the experience of fear that losing me would inflict. I wanted him to know how bad it felt, so that there was no chance of it. "So much for a positive piece on NETS and empowering women. You're justa muckraker like those men on 'The Footy show.' You're the one whothinks you're better than everybody, not me. But you're not. You're agutter journalist."She just smirks in reply and I am silenced, for the fears I'darticulated, not daring to say more and I leave. Which is all I wantedto do. So I can process what I just discovered. And what just happened.And try and make sense of it all.Chapter 9With timing that was either fortunate or the exact opposite I'm nosooner home when a very tanned Mark and Clare roll in from the airport.They are in high spirits and giggling as Clare unlocks the door andenters the Unit. They seemed like they might have headed to the bedroomwere I not unexpectedly there, sitting on the lounge room couch,clutching a pillow to my chest, staring blankly."Oh hey Kim," Clare says excitedly. "I thought you said you were goingto be working today. Which is why you couldn't pick us up from.
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