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Did I feel ashamed or guilty?Yes. Sometimes.Did I feel attractive and wanted?Yes to that, too. A lot.Being awakened to other possibilities was changing me as surely as magichad a long, long time ago. And as winter faded and the weather turnedmellow, Michelle Cho and I hit the skatepark a lot more. I'd gotten usedto the idea I'd peaked and would never be as good as the girls whoturned pro, or even the ones who competed on the amateur circuit. I wasstill better at inline than any of the woodpusher guys in town were atskateboarding, I could still get massive air (I felt like a bird, but noone confused me with Nelly Furtado, who I hated), and they still calledme Ayumi after this one Japanese pro (she was light-years beyondanything I could hope to be). Tamara sometimes said I was a goddess onblades, which filled me with rapture. Anyways, it made my skin tingle.Michelle said I was a shithead poser, and that filled me with rapture,too. Especially since I knew for a fact I was better than she. Apparently you rut like an animal."Nick snorted, "That's outrageous." How many pages of that illustrated book of sexual positions have you read as of this morning? May I guess you are over halfway through the text?" She dropped lightly on the conversation.Nick stopped his tongue and took a moment to reassess the woman, "You know far too much about items of which you should have no knowledge, Baba Yagablovsky." And you do not know enough," she retorted with a bit a heat behind her words.Nick didn't know how to respond to that remark. He had spent the weekend wondering about his life and this new curse; about his ignorance and lack of empathy for others. His mother had called him on Saturday morning asking about his time catching up with Kimberly. She was never one for much subtlety and mentioned that Mrs. Gottfried had complained that she had a difficult time falling asleep Friday night. They both laughed but his mother concluded by warning him he should be careful how he treated.
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