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’Me: ‘Okay, I’ll have a beer.’Bartender: ‘We have Molson’s Canadian on tap.’Me: ‘Sure. How much is that?’Bartender: ‘$8.00.’Me: ‘Here you are. OK now, what’s the wifi password?’Bartender: ‘ “youneedtobuyadrinkfirst”; No spaces and all lowercase.’----Prince Harry’s Bachelor Party - Quote of the DayIt’s really weird stuffing money into a stripper’s G string when every bill has a photo of your grandmother printed on it.”Compliments of technomageUnitarian Universalist jokesQ: What do you get when you cross a UU with a Jehovah’s Witness?A: Someone who knocks on your door for no apparent reason.You May Be A Unitarian Universalist If... you think socks are too formal for a Summer serviceyou think the Holy Trinity is “reduce, reuse and recycle”when you watch Jaws you root for the shark (“Hey, sharks have to eat too!”)you think “Whatever” is a valid theological pointyou think a Holy day of Obligation is your turn to bring coffee hour treatsyou know at least two people who are upset that trees. "Love to, kid, but I think the MasterEmerald's calling, gotta go!" And in an instant, he was gone too."TAILS...!" Amy raised her weapon over her head. Tails face paled and heleapt to the side, barely dodging it. He sprinted for the door (orrather, hobbled quickly to the door) as Amy was almost literally on histails."GET BACK HERE, YOU TWIN-TAILED HUSSY!" She screamed."Amy! It was an accident, I didn't mean it!" Tails yelled back, toofrightened to even notice the people in the streets watching the pair ofthem. By-standers gasped, some stared, some even took pictures andvideos. Somehow, maybe a combination of adrenaline, necessity and sheerself-preservation, Tails managed to JUUUUST keep ahead of Amy's reachdespite his clumsy outfit, his breasts bouncing every which way as hishigh heels clicked on the sidewalk and caught everyone's attention.Well, everyone that Amy's screams hadn't already alerted."I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU KISSED HIM, TAILS, YOU BIG-BOOBED BRAT!" It's not like that!" I WAS.
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