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Easter’s a good time to take time off and I need some real cycling.”“You don’t want me to go with you, I hope”, I said.“I do want you to come with me, but I know it’s impossible. I could really do with you to fetch and carry bags and give my feet a nice tongue bath every night. Your tongue feels so good between my toes when I’m tired and it’s all squishy in there. Don’t worry though, I know you can’t keep up, so you’re staying here instead, doing some chores for me. I made sure you’ll keep entertained. And you’ll have so much to look forward to when I get back...”“I’m sorry I can’t go with you. I’ll miss you while you’re away”, I said.“How sweet!” she said. “You’ll see, though; I’ve made sure you won’t be completely deprived of my scent while I’m away. After all we don’t want your training to go to waste. Heel!” She clapped her hands, giving me the signal to go on all fours and crawl behind her.I began nuzzling around her ankles, as I was supposed to. She slid her left foot out of. "As they sit, they hear a Push cart vendor yelling,"Hot Dogs, get your dogs Here," and they both Walk towards the hot dog Cart."Two dogs, please!," says One. The vendor is very Pleased to oblige, wraps Both hot dogs in foil and Hands them over. Excited, The nuns hurry to a bench And begin to unwrap their 'dogs.' The mother superior is First to open hers.She begins to blush, And then, after staring At it for a moment, leans To the other nun and in A soft brogue whispers:"What part did you get?"God Loves Drunks too!There's a pounding on the door.The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push."Not a chance," says the husband, "its 3:00 in the morning!"He slams the door and returns to bed."Who was that?" asked his wife."Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers."Did you help him?" she asks."No, I did not, it's 3 in the morning and it's frigin' well pouring rain out there!" Well, you have a short memory," says his.
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