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Then the lust really hit me with a bang. I wanted perverted action. I wanted cocks and cum like I never had it before. Although only 17 I had had some great experiences with men and I knew what they could give me. I said to them both, Please take my body and do what you fucking want with it".So the guy at my back got me to lie on my back with my legs pulled up so he could enter me as he would a woman. Some lovely cool refreshing gel was applied to my hole and he pushed in his cock. He started fucking me. He told me that he lusted after young men like me and hoped that he would give me the best fuck of my life. He was fucking me, my friend was sucking my cock and the guy fucking me put his hands round to fondle my balls. This was sexual heaven for me and my brain was reeling with desire. I needed this guy to cum up me. I wanted his load of cum up my ass big time. Then he shuddered and I knew he was cumming. I pushed back on his cock as hard as I could and he screamed as he shot a. I’ve thought about medication for anxiety. I’ve talked to my doctor and read through the effects and side-effects. I don’t think meds are the answer. It’s the worst at night. I go to bed, feeling very peaceful, and then something happens to trigger thoughts of death in my mind and if I’m lucky, I can get rid of them. Other nights, they stay there at the front of my mind, so that no matter what I think about or if I get out of bed to do something else, they’re still there. Even trying to write doesn’t help because I’m too tired to focus. Sleeping pills don’t help, because I need at least ten hours to burn them out of my system. Even with a shit-ton of caffeine in the morning, I’m still groggy until about ten hours. Since I need that much time and I have to get up at 6:15 to be to work on time, that would mean taking them at no later than 8:15, which would seriously cut into the very, very small amount of time I get to spend with my wife. And believe me, that ain’t happening. Hopefully.
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