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Perhaps it is nerves.I do know the darkness is there. I can see it. I can feel it. But it does not scare me. I may not be out of the woods but I have a bright torch and a spare (backup!) at the ready.I always do the backup thing. In all facets of my life. You name it and I have a backup or spare in place.I may have also forgotten to mention that along with my therapist, I did tell my sister all about my revalations. I even told her it would be easier for me to write this all down and then share it with her on here.I assured her I would not be using any of OUR names. I have no idea if anyone I actually know would find themselves reading any of my words.I really do not care, other than the fact that I don't want my kids or their friends to be able to look at this and say, "Oh, Wow, that sounds like Mr..."!!Well, perhaps if one of her friends suddenly came by and said, "Hi, Mr...". "You did not scar me or give me demons. You opened my eyes and I told my mom all that happened."I can. “But lately it seems he’s satisfied with not having any physical contact -- or any kind of contact. He just lapses into his own private world. He’s always been a private person. But lately, he shuts everyone and everything out. I’ve asked, even pleaded. But he won’t let me in.” “And that drives you nuts,” he said. “Yes, and that’s why I asked him about the open marriage,” she paused, remembering. “He was unusually cool about it. Said if that was what I wanted, he wouldn’t stop me.” He shook his head. “I’d have serious problems letting my woman be with some other man.” “I thought he would be that way too,” she said quietly. “Maybe he doesn’t care anymore.” She snapped back to attention, eyes focusing on him. “Why am I telling you all this?” “Maybe you want me,” he chuckled. She leaned over and her heavy breasts came to rest on the table. He leaned back instinctively. “What?” she frowned. “I’m kidding,” he raised a hand. “But I think you want freedom and attention more than anything.”.
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