To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home. You want it, you take it."For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it.He eventually decided that people were too untrusting of this deal.It looked too good to be true, so he changed the sign to read:"Fridge for sale $50."The next day someone stole it.Caution... They Walk Among Us and They Vote!At the airport.Official: " Has anyone put anything into your bags without your knowledge?"Traveller: "Sir, if they had done it without my knowledge, how would I know?'Caution... They Walk Among Us and They Vote!One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone shouted..."Look at that dead bird!"Someone looked up at the sky and said..."Where???"Caution... They Walk Among Us and They Vote!While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up. Out loud I said, “POWDER-Patch-BALL ... short starter-patch knife-cut the patch-replace the knife-ram the ball-half cock-open the pan-prime-close the pan.”I looked up the hill. Holy Shit ... a white painted steel buffalo at least a hundred yards up the hill. I threw up the gun to my shoulder-full cock-took my sight ... set trigger-caress the trigger.BLAM! Ting!I hit it ... I hit it! I killed the white buffalo ... umh ... isn’t that bad luck?I was off again running to station two ... three strides and I was running in ankle deep water ... hydroplaning in three inches of water ... fresh water ... it wasn’t there yesterday ... and it was cold!I have to lie on my back in this? Those dirty bastards brought in a water truck just for me ... OH JOY!I reached station two ... a log on a slight hill ... the hill was just tall enough to keep me out of the water ... except for my feet. My patches were a strip of pillow ticking cut from a yard of cloth. I’d been chewing that strip since I started.
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