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Moments of attachment with no illusion of permanence. No heartbreak. No vulnerability. It was… I know, Jack. You dont have to explain it. His eyes softened with the smallest trace of a thank you. His father stealing his childhood for so many years before he was put into foster care was not a subject we delved into unless necessary. I just want you to know that none of those girls meant anything to me, if they did I never would have slept with them after only knowing them for a few days… or hours. Maybe I wouldnt have slept with them at all, because I was just using them anyway. If I cared I would have stuck around afterward. Meaningless sex is easy, but attachment and commitment, having sex with someone because I care, the thought is terrifying. Id really have to love someone, and I have yet to do that. Have meaningful sex, I mean. It was like… the lights always had to be off… His words made my head spin. Jack, why exactly are we talking about this? For a moment he didnt say. The difference was that he had a child now. How was he going to tell Gail that he had lost his job?He wasn’t quite ready to face Gail with the news, and stopped at Kelly’s Bar & Grill for a cold brew. He knew that couldn’t be a long-term solution, so he drained his glass and went home to Gail and Mark.Gail knew something was wrong when she saw John trudging up the walk, hours early with his head hanging down.“John, what’s wrong?” she asked sitting beside him as he sat wearily on the couch.“I got laid off ... again,” he said.“Oh, John!” she cried, “What are we going to do now?”“Do? I’m going to do what a husband and father is supposed to do. Get a job and support my family.”“Of course, John, I didn’t mean to doubt you.”“I know, Gail, I know. It’s just that it’s so frustrating. Sometimes I regret not waiting to get married. Maybe I should have gone to Community College first.”“Don’t you go blaming yourself, John! I think I had something to do with that decision,” she said, rubbing.
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