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That night, after a hardcore banging, she started crying. She didn’t want what we had to slip away but she also wanted to be my girl. You get the gist. I wasn’t really ready for a relationship yet so I told her it was better if we didn’t see each other for a bit. Here comes the tough part. It was hard for her to not be without seeing me and it was hard for me to stop controlling my sexual urges as we had been on a fucking spree.The following days were hard. I had to admit, I missed having her around, but soon I realized it was just that I was missing screwing her. The urge to screw someone was at an all-time high and I was thinking only about sex ALL DAY LONG! I tried all kinds of things – tinder, online dating apps etc but nothing really worked out for me.To be frank, I have never really seen known people around me sexually. There were a lot of women in my area and suddenly, I realized they were are all so amazing and their curves stood out, unappreciated or not cared for.So coming. All I could do was pick everything up and make my way home. Mama and I held each other while we cried for father, but she didn't cry for very long. She put everything away and hid the goat hide. She told me that I should probably have left it behind.The next entry was written in the more elegant hand again and lookedlike it had been added some hours or a day later. Mama tells me that I must leave her. She has left me here to pack while she has gone out to make some arrangements. I don't know when I will be able to write in my journal again. Because I felt ill from the blow to my head, Mama kept me inside the house this morning. Right before dark, the sheriff and a couple of other men came to the door. Mama had seen them around earlier and knew that trouble was coming. She made me hide in the bolt-hole father built into the closet in their bedroom. Mother always hated having to lie to the sheriff when he came looking.
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