I am heterosexual, which according to gay folks, now makes me a homophobe.I am non-union, which makes me a traitor to the working class and an ally of big business.I am a Christian, which now labels me as an infidel.I believe in the 2nd Amendment, which now makes me a member of the vast gun lobby.I am older than 70 and retired, which makes me a useless old man.I think and I reason, therefore I doubt much that the main stream media tells me, which must make me a reactionary.I am proud of my heritage and our inclusive American culture, which makes me a xenophobe.I value my safety and that of my family and I appreciate the police and the legal system, which makes me a right-wing extremist.I believe in hard work, fair play, and fair compensation according to each individual’s merits, which today makes me an anti-socialist.I (and most of the folks I know), acquired a fair education without student loans (it’s called work) and no debt at graduation, which makes me some kind of an odd. I could hear a fairly harsh exchange of comments going on between mother and daughter, well away from the phone. I couldn't make out what they were saying, but it sounded as if Amanda was insisting that Patti take my call."Hello?" Patti." Hello, Bob." What happened to 'Bobby'?" I asked.She ignored my question. "I'm staying with my folks for a few days," she said."What about work?" I said."They've got somebody to stand in for me. The kids are all right." Wasn't that an album?" What?" 'The Kids are Alright' -- wasn't that a record album-- way back?" I don't know." By The Who." Who?" The Who! It's an old band. Ask your Dad." OK." She sounded listless."Patti." Yeah?" You know my penis?" What?" My penis... Is your mother listening on the extension?" What? No. She's not listening." You know my penis?" What are you saying?" My penis! You've seen it -- right?" Bobby. What are you..." It's not very big." What?" My penis! Focus, Patti! My penis! Remember? --The one you took into your mouth!".
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