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It would cause me to shrug my shoulders and literally purr. If there was any one thing that Kendi did that pulled me to her, it was a nice back scratch.We walked back to the farmers market on Saturday morning and we went to a movie on Saturday evening before going home and cuddling up in the big comfy chair listening to classical music.We woke up Sunday morning to a thunderstorm, took a blanket and cuddled up on one of the patio chairs. Smelling the clean electric air and watched the light show as the sun slowly rose and the day became brighter. So many kisses were exchanged. Sunday morning breakfast was waffles with strawberries from the farmers market. Sunday afternoon football and hot dogs and Sunday night salad and avocado and more cuddling.Now, the original plan was for me to spend the week and then decide what to do on Sunday. The original plan I had was to stay the week and then bail out. The plan changed to spending the week and then to stay as long as needed to keep Kendi. And I knew deep down that’s why the excitement had tapered down just as my fear had flamed higher.I’ve always been someone who wants and needs certainty and control. But for the first time in our marriage, I felt like I had little power or control. I’d given huge power over to Sue and I had to believe and trust she’d use it a way that wouldn’t hurt me or destroy our marriage.I knew Sue loved me and would never intentionally do anything to hurt either me or our marriage. But I also knew how strongly she was attracted to Francis and that every day her emotional connection to him was likely to grow as their relationship took root.Before, when it all felt remote and distant, the thought of their attraction and connection had both frightened and excited me. For a man like me, two sides of the same coin. But now it was real and in the here and now. And as I sat alone while Sue and Francis were together, the fears were a hundred times stronger than the excitement.Friday night, and I was.
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