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As we left, I thought about the words I’d written. They were etched into my brain:‘Dear Rebecca, I’m really sorry I dropped and broke your plates. I would do anything to make it right. You told me that what I needed was a ‘bloody good hiding’. If this will make it better for you I would willingly accept that from you. I know you said that it is a silly idea, especially as we are all adults, however, I wish you would give it some more thought. In any case, please accept this letter as an ‘IOU’. Should you change your mind at any time, please show me this letter as a reminder and I will happily submit to a ‘bloody good hiding’ as you so poetically put it. I only want to make it right. All my love, Mark.’On the drive home, I told my wife what I’d done.‘What did you do that for, Mark?’ She was incredulous.‘I just thought it might make things right, Debbie. And anyway, you’ve also told me on more than one occasion that I deserve a good spanking.’Debbie was quiet after that. She had said it. There is something else too..."At this point I should say that my wife and I have been building up a small business over the last few years and had recently received an offer for it. The major problem with the offer was that the guy wanted to pay half of it in cash. Now, that may sound great, but what do you do with a shed load, alright a dolls house, full of cash. Most of you won't know, although I daresay you can guess, that HMRC - that's Her Majesty's Revenue and Customs are a complete set of arseholes who strongly object to people dealing in cash and not paying tax on it, and I can agree with them wholeheartedly. When it's other people. And selling a business is a capital gain and attracts capital gains tax. So paying the cash into the bank is not an option because someone will ask questions. Not might ask, but will ask."Why have you paused? Tell me what else there is." You remember that offer from John?" Yes, of course I do, and we can't take cash." But if we did..." We wouldn't.
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