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He’d been right! All this time when I’d thought I was in charge, I hadn’t been! Like the Michelina’s frozen dinner, so long ago, my life was being influenced and directed.“Are you okay, Michael?”How blind had I been? And yet, would I change anything in the past thirteen years? I saw Amelia in my mind’s eye, so beautiful and talented. Peace settled over me like a warm, familiar blanket. Had I been given the chance to influence things, to be able to direct my future, if I’d known then what I know now, I wouldn’t change a thing. Not one thing.“Michael?”Glancing up from the legal papers, I smiled at Betty.“I’m fine. Of course I’ll look after Amelia if anything happens to you. But, I think you’re going to be around for quite a while. Just give it time. You’ll always miss Harold but every day it will get better.”She smiled ruefully. “Tell me that when you’ve lived with someone for half a century.”After she left, I read the legal documents carefully. In my hands, along with the legal. She was again in front of me in 10 minutes with tea and some homemade snacks by her.I tasted the same and said “nice” and here she smiled as if it rained in a dry desert. I smiled more seeing her smile and said “Sheila u don’t worry in life I will take care of all your needs”. I did not mean anything wrong. It was just an assurance by an elder member of the family to his people kind of a thing. She responded by saying “Jee sahib I know u will take of me well and all my needs”. I did not know what to understand of this.Again some months passed by and it was already a year gone by to ranjit’s demise. She was very sad that day and ironically my wife was out on a small vacation to her mom’s place as she was not keeping too well. I called out for Sheila and she came…what I saw was very disturbing…her face was swollen with crying. “What happened Sheila…Why are you crying?” “Sahabji I want to die. I don’t want to live in this world as I see no reason to live. I have no family, no man … what.
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