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"You and Arlie seem pretty close," she said. "Have you been with the club for your whole career?" I've been here for four years," he said, "and I knew Arlie from before that, but of course I didn't get to know him well until I became an Oriole. My ex-wife and Arlie's wife were friendly. Even when I first arrived here, I was one of the older players, and an established pitcher, so it was natural that we'd have some social contact." Where were you before Baltimore?" she asked."In this era, few players are able to stick with one club through their entire career," Dan told her. "I started with Cincinnati in the other league. Spent four years in their minor league system and four with the big club."They traded me to Arizona and, after one season there, I went to Atlanta for most of five years before coming to Baltimore." All National League until you got here," Susan observed."I thought you said you were a casual fan only," he said."I think 'casual fan' fits. But I know a little. "Didn't we just see these guys on the beach?" Which ones?" Sarah asked, all innocent."All of them."Evidently, MTV had chosen our beach to do one of their Spring Breakdealies, and they were showing some kind of bullshit contest where chicksin bikinis ate hotdogs out of guys' swim trunks. Rows upon rows of theexact same kind of assholes we'd left Heidi and friends with so recentlyit was like the afterimages of the sun and sand were still burned into myretinas. Seeing them writhing all together on the TV was like theuniverse deliberately spitting in my face right after I'd washed it.Inspired by that jolly thought, I went into my "Amy Hates MTV" rant likea Japanese girl Dennis Miller."It's nothing but a vehicle for selling fucking zit medication andhundred-dollar sneakers to dipshits like that group on the beach," Iprotested right at the end to kind of sum up.Gina told me to shut the hell up, that she thought the guys on TV werepretty attractive, and we got into one of our infamous mock.
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