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I wish there was enoughtime to do every one of you loser boys but it's already junior year, andit doesn't work right if I have to rush." Lily, will you be honest with me?"I nodded."Do you feel like you've grown from this experience? Do you think you'veleft some of your old disgusting boy behaviors behind? Are you afraid offemininity anymore?"I think my stunned silence made my answer clear."Exactly," she continued without my response. "Right now this is just afantasy, but maybe you can help me. Would you do that for me?"I was at a crossroads. If I said no, I'd lose her. She would move on tofeminizing some other boy, and I doubted she would want to continue ourrelationship, whatever that was. On the other hand, was I really willingto assist in her weird torture that I'd observed for two years beforebecoming a chosen victim? "Man"-kind would mark me as a traitor to my ownsex, and to masculinity itself.My silence gave away my struggle. I was lucky, she didn't want a directanswer yet."I. I must admit to feeling a little disappointed when you went on about your exploits on the other side of the world. The furthest I've ever been is Scotland. I've never even been in a plane or on a ship. I'm not sure whether you consider me a little ... insular..." I hesitated trying to think of the right word but ended up with the not quite right "unsophisticated." No, I don't think that David. I just talk to much at times and I didn't know what else to talk about. Honestly! It must have sounded like a monologue. " She said with what seemed genuine feeling.We talked a bit more about my marriage and my time with Stephanie as well as her ex-boyfriend. Anita moaned about him wanting to control her life, tell her who she could talk to and what she could and couldn't do. In the end it got too much for her and they split up.After that we both relaxed and started to enjoy the evening, at least until I went to the bar for some more drinks. After waiting a rather long time whilst the barmaids.
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