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’ I looked up and she nodded. ‘Is Shady Valley pretty small?’ She brightened a bit as she spoke. ‘Yes, it’s very small, only 280 people live in the town and I actually live two miles out on a farm. My Dad farms and preaches at the Community Church. My Mom teaches piano and voice part-time.’ The glow faded a bit and she looked down again. ‘A minister. That explains the name?’ When she nodded, I continued, ‘I see you have four brothers and two sisters still at home. Do they have biblical names too?’ Faith looked up shyly, ‘The girls are Hope and Charity. The boys are Matt, Mark, Luke, and Thomas.’ She smiled wryly as if expecting some sort of comment. I resisted the urge to ask about missing John and including Thomas, and went on. ‘I’m surprised you are not receiving a Pell Grant or some other assistance.’ ‘Daddy doesn’t believe in handouts. He worked his way through Bible College and Momma worked her way through too. She was a waitress and he was a carpenter. I’m expected to do the. Women dig pizza delivery guys. Pizza delivery guys get laid!" "Um, I think I'm losing I.Q. points just talking to you right now. Look, dude, rock stars get laid. Sports figures get laid. Tiger Woods gets laid. Bill Gates probably gets laid. Pizza delivery guys deliver pizza," explains Pete. "Man, I think it must be the uniform. Women dig a guy in uniform," adds Joe. "Look, women dig a guy in uniform if the uniform has five stars on it and says general. Not if it says Domino's and has a handwritten nametag on it with 'AssFace' scribbled in crayon. What have you been smoking?" asks Pete. "All we have to do is get jobs as a pizza delivery guy and we will be living like rock stars. We'll have more pussy than we'll know what to do with," says Joe. "You have more stupidity than you know what to do with. When they were handing out stupidity, did you go back up for seconds?" Pete asks. "Were you born this stupid or did it take years of practice? I would say you are as dumb as dirt, but that.
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