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"I didn't realise how sweaty I was until I took the towel off Curtis's assistant who I hadn't noticed until now. I looked down at the table, no signs of shit on the shaft, good sign, the glass itself was destroyed in jizz, like a group of decorators had painted the room without covering it.After I showered and dressed, Curtis shouted into the dressing room that they would be in touch. I checked my phone, one message from Theo saying sorry and good luck, the other was from Lockie looking for an update. Quickly walking towards the station, lighting my smoke as I went, I replied to them both that it was done and I would speak to them later. Instantly my phone rang. It was Lockie."Well? How did you go?" He asked excitedly. "Great I think, Curtis was happy so that is the main thing, I had lots of fun" Did you have to squat over the coffee table?" I could hear the smile in Lockie's voice."Yes," I laughed, "How did you know?" We all had to k**do." I loved this playful Lockie and inwardly. "Short, bald, fat, ugly, broke guy with small penis seeks tall, thin woman, teeth optional, for correspondence and possible relationship. Round heeled slut preferred, but simple promiscuity accepted. Must be willing to give and receive verbal abuse. Don't need to like you, fuck loving you. I just need to get my rocks off. My name is Stumpy, for obvious reasons."I put a picture of Baldy, one of the seven dwarfs from the Disney cartoon production, and signed off."That should settle that" I thought, as I sipped my straight rye whiskey.Sometimes I hate my Mom. She was holding the dating service card, waving it in front of me."Come on, what have you got to lose? You haven't exactly met anyone close to Mr. Right in your social circle, have you?"I hated her even more when she was right. I was six feet tall and weighed two hundred and ten pounds. I liked to describe myself as someone the painter Reuben would have loved to use as a model. My ex was two inches shorter than me without heels..
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