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. brighter. There’s no other word.I wasn’t trying to push myself since my hangover was making everything more difficult in the first place. In fact, my hangover was getting worse, and when I couldn’t stand it any longer, I tried to resurface.Nothing happened. For some reason, I couldn’t get back to my senses, couldn’t get back to the real world. My hangover seemed to be interfering with my ability to restore the gap between my mind and body, and it was getting worse and worse the longer I stayed there.And then I suddenly could feel there was more depth beneath me, more room to go deeper into myself than I had before. The pain was getting unbearable, and as I hesitantly sunk deeper, I found the pain lightening as I went.I was scared. Scared of the pain and scared I may never return to the world around me. I kept going deeper, the pain decreasing as I went, but as soon as I would stop, I would feel it begin its steady build again.After another flash of light, the pain began a steady. I decided a brisk walk, in the cool morning sun, would help clear my head. I scribbled a note and placed it on my pillow.“Gone for a walk, won’t be long.Annie x”.The back gate of the hotel lead directly onto a footpath which disappeared into some picturesque woods. I walked, aimlessly, meandering between the trees. My inner voices arguing about the rights and wrongs of sleeping with my daughter’s best friend. My daughter’s beautiful, intelligent, irresistible, consenting young friend.What would Ellie say? Did she need to know? What about my husband?My ‘sensible’ voice prevailed, and I decided there and then they must never know, there was no point in hurting them.I also decided, reluctantly and with a heavy heart it couldn’t happen again. Though young, Angela was old enough and certainly wise enough to understand why.Best to clarify things as soon as I got back to the room, I didn’t want to string her along. I turned and started back down the fern lined track, sad at the idea of.
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