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Normal stuff!" I statedthe obvious."Normal for the other guys, but not normal for you! And look at thoseshoes!" She went on."What's wrong with my shoes? Are they broken or something?" I lifted themin turn, to see if the sole was coming off or something.My mother stood and came towards me. She placed a hand on my forehead totest my temperature. "Peter, sit down. Are you sure you are feelingfine?" I am not sitting down! What's wrong with my clothes? And my shoes? Isthere something wrong with my legs?" I asked, tensing every single nervein my body."I don't know!" my sister said. "I don't know if there's anything wrongwith your legs. I can't see them for the first time in... what... fifteenyears?" What?" was my only reaction."You have been wearing skirts and only skirts since you were a teenager.I didn't even know that you owned a pair of pants until I saw the pajamathis morning, and now you have two! And you are not even wearing heels!This is just plain weird!" She explained, screaming. He was her lawdog too."Your honor," he intoned. "Mister Longden will put up the lady's bail," he said. The judge, the prostie, and the clerk all looked over at me as though I were some kind of alien."You know this woman, mister Longden?" said the judge."Barely, just met her here; well, at the police station last night," I said. "I got the money; I'll pay it." Okay, so ordered," he said. And the gavel sounded. The lady mouthed me a thank you as they led me out.They let me out Monday morning. They told me about my car and where to bail it out; five hundred was the tariff. Talk about overkill, but I was in no position to whine about it, and, I had been driving drunk.I left by what I supposed was the back door. She was there, my wife, talk about humiliating. There she stood: tall, tawny-haired, dazzling figure, and dressed to kill; I wondered who it was for."Mikey," she said. "What have you done?" were the first words out of her mouth."What do you care? You dumped me," I said. I took out.
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