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"They're British." As if that explained it all. And it did.American tourists are referred to as the Ugly Americans ... but at least we go home. The fucking Pommys show up ... stomp all over Aussie feelings ... and STAY. (stolen from an email from a rude Australian.) (Thank you Mark)It's like Texans; just across the Texas-Oklahoma border ... on the northern side ... there's a bar. The men's shitter has three usable urinals; they are marked OKIES. There's one urinal right up against the ceiling; TEXANS.Texans in Texas are wonderful people. Take them out of Texas and they become the ugly Texans ... and mostly they go home.Brits aren't like that ... they stay.They have lovely sayings;"We're British ... do it our way." and,"There's the British way and the wrong way."Not to mention, "We have been a country much longer than you..."Don't feel to badly, Australia, to the Brits, the US is still the colonies.It seems the British heard about our gifts to the Australians; the Widgeon, the spare. "Speak up." Yes ma'am," I said loudly.She held up the card, which showed a leather-clad woman holding a ridingcrop and the legend, "Trick or Beat? I really don't care which I do toyou." You are to read this card out loud and I stress the word loud. If yourvoice is too low, the women behind you are to slap your pantied buttuntil you are loud enough. Now read it and weep!"With a croaking voice I started, "I am Maria Lima's crossdressedhusband." I jumped as a stinging slap connected with my rump. "OW I amMaria Lima's crossdressed husband, I have embarrassed her every year onthis day, OW that hurts." Start over." I am Maria Lima's crossdressed husband, I have embarrassed her everyyear on this day, this year she is showing me just how humiliated she hasfelt. She has put me on display in just the skimpiest outfit so that Iwill know all night just how embarrassing having a silly sissy for ahusband is. Please form a double line and slap my ass as I walk to begfor the finishing humiliations.
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