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It’s fun to call him...”Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!” He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing.-- Steven WrightWhen will all the rhetorical questions end?We have mileage, yardage and footage. Why don’t we have inchage?Bumper Sticker:If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you.The other day, I was walking my dog around my building ... on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.-- Steven WrightStudies show that 100% of those who advocate abortion are people who already have been born.What’s dumb? Directions on toilet paper.What’s dumber than that? Reading them.Even dumber? Reading them and learning something.Dumbest of all? Reading them and having to correct something you’ve been doing wrong.Some time ago, there was this artist, who worked from a studio in his home. He specialized in nudes, and had been working on what he thought would be a masterpiece for several months now.As usual, his model reported, and after. One of the bioweapons many arms reached out to grab her. Skillfully, she rolled to the side, narrowly escaping its grasp. She came up from her roll hitting the eject button on her gun; the empty magazine came out just as she popped a fresh one in.Not a moment too soon as the...whatever...had turned to face her and steadily advanced as she backed into a corner. Who the hell thought these things were a good idea? She thought as she unloaded into the creature. It gave one more attempt to swipe at her before it reached a lethal limit for lead and fell down.Cautiously, she approached the creature and prodded it with her foot. As a farewell gift, it exploded. A rain of grey and tan matter thoroughly coated the area and the unfortunate Sheva.“Ick.” The beautiful woman said as she wiped the gunk off her.“Status report.” Her radio squawked at her.“Target is down central.”“Any collateral?”“It decided to explode on its’ way out. I got a coating of it. Area is bad too.” Sheva responded as she.
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