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Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.Three friends from the local congregation were asked, “When you’re in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?”Artie said, “I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man.”Eugene commented, “I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people’s lives...”Al said, “I’d like them to say, ‘Look, he’s moving!’”Smith climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God.Looking up, he asks the Lord.“God, what does a million years mean to you?”The Lord replies, “A minute.”Smith asks, “And what does a million dollars mean to you?”The Lord replies, “A penny.”Smith asks, “Can I have a penny?”The Lord replies, “In a minute.”A man goes to a shrink and says, “Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to. “If you need anything, call me. I'm going out for a bit.”“I thought you needed to study?”“I do, but I need to chill first. I'm going for a walk. Maybe I'll catch a movie. If I hang around here, I'm just going to wonder what kind of pervy shit you're doing with him. I need to clear my head.”Sasha chortled. “Feeling a little oversexed from the weekend are we?”“Oh my god, yes! My libido won't shut off! It's only gotten worse since Friday night... Fuck! I don't even want to talk about it.” Rebecca turned to Zack and delivered several stinging pats to his face. They began mild but each got a little stronger until the last was a legitimate slap. “Play nice, slut. I'll be back for you later.”She walked past him and delivered one more stinging swat to his ass with her open palm. Zack bit his tongue and winced. Rebecca's perfume swirled in and out of his nose one last time before she made her exit.“Have fun you two!”“Oh, we willllllllllllll” Sasha trilled as she stepped to the side and put her.
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