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But thatwas impossible: the refrigerator was nearly 15 feet away. Regardless, heshrugged it off, grabbed his beer, and returned to his football game.Soon, Bob needed to use the facilities. He headed for the toilet, readyto lift the seat up, but his body sat down instead. He wondered why hehad done that, and as if by magic, a reason popped into his head: heliked sitting down to use the bathroom. "Of course," he thought, "I'vealways sat down to use the toilet."As he sat there, Bob noticed that something was wrong with his jeans.Looking closer, he saw that the jeans had a tear in the seat, as thoughhe had gained weight and torn right through jeans that used to fitperfectly. "Guess I've put on a few pounds lately. Maybe I should hitthe gym..." Unbeknownst to him, he hadn't put on a few pounds, butrather his ass had become larger, pushing the fabric of his jeans toofar.Before leaving the bathroom, Bob caught a glance of his reflection inthe mirror. "I don't remember shaving this morning,". ‘Damned Hell!’ Lord van H’las said suddenly in a peculiar hoarse voice. ‘Tashka Maien! Surely … he can drink the mess dry, and that story about the farmer’s daughter … Holy Heaven, he has been with you in the field three years! And … he is your junior officer!’ ‘Y-yes,’ Vadya said in an uncertain voice. ‘But papa, he is loyal. I swear he was not put in the troop to spy on us.’ ‘Sweet Angels of Light!’ van H’las’ face was suddenly full of rage, Vadya sat back in astonishment, he could not remember having seen his father so angry. ‘What is that damned dog Pava el Maien about! I will … no, oh Hell! I cannot!’ His face seemed to crumple up, twisted by a despair that Vadya felt was out of proportion to a simple request that a loyal young officer who happened to be from an enemy region’s ruling family should be allowed to remain at his post. ‘We have got to accept it!’ van H’las exclaimed. ‘I see it now! He is hoping to insult us and drive us to war again. We cannot go to war again, the.
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