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Q: What does a homeless woman use for a vibrator?A: Two flies in a bottle.Q: What’s the job application to Hooters?A: They just give you a bra and say: “Here, fill this out.”Q: Why don’t blind people skydive?A: It scares their dogs!Q: What’s the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?A: It only takes one nail to hang a picture of Jesus.Q: What do you call a Chinese midget?A: Tai NeeQ: What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?A: Slap her on the ass and tell her to get back to work.Q: Why do they call it the wonder bra?A: When you take it off you wonder where they went went.Q: Why did God create orgasms?A: So women can moan even when they’re happyQ: Did you hear about the cannibal who committed suicide?A: He got himself into a real stew.Q: What do you call a retard in a tree with a brief case?A: Branch Manager.Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?A: Ask your mother!Q: Why did god invent alcohol?A: So ugly women can have sex too.Q: What’s black and. You know what? One of the simplest yet most rewarding pleasures in life is re-discovering an old interest in a new setting."January 29, 2004On an overcast, frigid afternoon in the dead of winter, I found myself gazing out my upstairs office window at the snow-covered mountains. The words were coming slowly on this particular day. I was well into my latest novel (my seventh), and for some reason, my mind didn't want to stay in one place. To make matters worse, my phone rang. I don't need another distraction, I thought.But to my relief, the caller was Dave. "Hey, nine-to-fiver," I joshed right away. We'd taken to joking around about our markedly different professional lives. He had a regular job and a normal, structured workday. I, however, was self-employed in every sense of the word, and I set my own hours.Today, Dave's work was the focus of our conversation. He'd been dropping hints for quite a while that he was involved with something of substantial importance. However, up till now.
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