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I had a difficult time... no, that's waffling, and Gloria wouldn't let me hedge anything. I couldn't maintain a relationship, Josh, sexual or otherwise. Sexually, I was frigid. I don't think I had more than ten orgasms from the age of twelve when my parents died until I met you, and those orgasms happened during my early teen years from masturbating. I not only suppressed my memories of what my parents did to me, I also suppressed my sexual urges and responses.Do you think you've reconnected with and repaired your past?I've reconnected with my past. Repaired it? No. Some repairs have been made, but I'm not cured, Josh. Still, I think I can join the living now. Will I repair my past? I don't know. Some of it is repairable, other parts - fuck it, I say. Let it lay.I could feel her grin. I was proud of her.What about your lost years? Josh asked.Lost years?Yes, those years when you couldn't maintain personal relationships, even friendships, the years when you couldn't function. Excited about the idea, correct?"Jake couldn't believe what he was hearing. He said nothing, and the Coach continued. "You're all young, healthy, athletic men. Your hormones are fierce, uncontrollable. That's a part of what this experiment is about, actually. I believe that this will, ultimately, be good for the team. We'll play better, work harder. And bring home more wins." And, this is legal?" Jake asked?"It's... board approved." There was a glint in Coach's eye that Jake didn't expect. "And hey, we're all in the same boat, here. My-- I have reasons to keep this a secret as well." Jake knew the Coach was married, but he had never met his wife. He'd seen pictures, and she had come to some of their games, but they'd never been introduced. Jake always thought she was hot."How can you do it? How can you go home and look your wife in the eyes?"Coach winced. "You just have to remember that you aren't doing it for yourself. This is for--" The team," Jake interrupted. "I know. I just.
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