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Even that cheating, lying son of a bitch was better than feeling lost at the age of forty-three. For better or worse, we never had children, which made the split cleaner. I had never really considered this a bad thing until this moment. But suddenly, here I was, middle-aged, single, with no children. I felt like a failure for some unknown reason. It wasn't like I had tried and failed. I didn’t want kids. Without a husband and partner, I now felt like I was this weirdo spinster that people would talk about.At the risk of leaving out a detail or two, I’ll save some time and just say that things spiraled a bit for me. The loneliness led to a glass of wine or two, which turned to a bottle, which sometimes ended with vodka. Of course, you know where this is going. It eventually bled into my personal and professional life. I was showing up to work hungover and barely getting my work done. My boss was understanding at first, but eventually, it was just plain inexcusable and I was let. We talked about things like taxes, and whether this long, healthy life he'd promised me wouldn't arouse suspicions in people that noticed I wasn't really aging like they were.'By kiting more checks?''I didn't forget. I know you can't depend on anything until it happens. I hope it happens, but I won't believe in it until it does.'Hastings was an almost deserted smallish former gold mining town, nestled in the foothills of the Rockies. It was about two hundred and sixty miles from my home, almost all the way across the state from where I presently was. I couldn't imagine what might be there that I'd be interested in.'Thank you. I really have been enjoying all this extra rest. It makes a big difference.''What do you think I should do about her?'
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