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” So he tied her up and went golfing.A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, “Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!” The husband said, “Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?” “Doesn’t matter,” she said. “Just get out.”A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver’s license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters: ‘C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.’ “Can you read this?” the optician asked. “Read it?” the Polish guy replied, “I know the guy.”Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, “I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent.” “Thank God,” said an elderly nun at the back. “I’m so tired of chardonnay.”A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. “Careful,” he said, “CAREFUL! Put in some. ." "Oh, silly honey", she said, caressing her cheek and smiled as if he were a child. "You have such a limited idea of sex. There's lots and lots of other things to do than penetration. Come here." With that she took hold of his hand and led her to the bed. She sat down and leaned her back to the headboard. She patted the sheet next to her. "Come here, sweetheart." Feeling still a bit uneasy he joined her wife. Soon their bodies were entwined, his head resting on her wife's chest. "Oh, I have such plans for us", she said, caressing his hair. "I will start training you, and making you the best cunnilingus expert there is. Or at least the best you are able to become. Pretty soon you will amaze there never was another way to experience an orgasm. I assure my orgasms will be more than enough for you." He sighed deeply. This felt so good, to be so near to her, hear her talk to him so calmly, not at all angry anymore. He didn't like to hear her being angry, or displeased. It made him feel.
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