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So let me tell you what I've done to ensure your commitment. With those papers you signed I've taken the liberty of extending my lease of a room in your house to 10 years, 5 years of which have been prepaid to the tune of $21,000.00, courtesy of a loan from my friend here."Not only does this give me legal access to your home, but as long as you have a lease agreement the house cannot be sold. That way you can't just pull up stakes and move to get away. You and I have used that $21,000.00 to enter into an agreement with and retain the services of 2 different professional bountyhunters/bailbondsmen. These agreements place $10,000.00 into an escrow account for the next 10 years that can only be released to the bondsman with my permission. They both have written permission from you, that on my request, they should take custody of you and transport you to the location of my choosing. They did say that while the legality of this is shaky, just the fact that the escrow money they would be. I suggested that she shouldconsider hand washing it as the washing machine would stretch out thematerial. Mother had a field day with that comment, let me tell you. Oh, thewashing machine stretches out my bras, does it, she asked me. And how didI know that? she requested of me. I'd seen it on television, I told her.Women's lingerie should be hand washed. Oh, now I'm a women's lingerieexpert, she started to poke fun. And you learned all this by watching thetelevision. What kind of television shows was I watching where I'd learnabout hand washing women's lingerie? She asked a good question and I wasn't sure how to respond. Well, I,well, I, ... I don't remember, I said, but it's just common knowledge thata women's lingerie should be hand washed. The washing machine stretchesout the delicate materials. Well, she said, if I had time to hand wash my unmentionables, we wouldn'tbe having this conversation, now would we? She asked me. This is how Igot myself into this problem in the first.
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