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Tony rolled his eyes as Tiffany made straight for the booze. Tony wasgoing to be the designated driver and, while the alcohol wasn't free,the sodas were. Asking for two, the girl dressed like a cowgirl,complete with ten gallon hat, smiled at Tony. "Don't let your friendsdrive drunk, K? Now, if I could just find my heifer." The woman lookedaround and Tony looked as well. Both of them saw the tall, buxom womanin the spotted bikini top, cowprint spandex pants, and big, floppy cowears. The cowgirl waved her over and, once she was closer, offered thedairy cow a drink.Tony was about to walk away when the "dairy cow" touched his arm. "Cutecheerleader outfit. Can you give me a cheer?" Tony got a closer lookat the dairy cow and tried to quickly avert his eyes from the woman'sbreasts which were larger than his fake one."Um, like, sure. Like, what should I cheer for?" Tony replied, givinghis best valley girl impression.The two women both giggled. "Um, how about milk?" the dairy. Another thought came unbidden, and I felt my lips turn up in a cruel grin: Welcome to Vampire Restaurant Row! On the menu tonight: a wonderful cabernet, delicious prime rib, and, for dessert... your blood, taken from you by your friendly neighborhood vampire!A commotion on the sidewalk drew my attention away from such gallows humor. A couple stood in front of the building next to Ka'lath's, arguing fiercely. The woman wanted to go home; the man, obnoxiously drunk, wanted to stay the party. They went back and forth for a few moments, their voices getting louder, until the woman finally slapped the man and started walking up the sidewalk toward me. The man, stunned and angry, watched her go for several moments before firing the most pointed rejoinder he could muster - "Fine, bitch!" - before returning to the restaurant from which they'd come.Before I was consciously aware that I had made my choice, I was standing in the shadows of the alley mouth, waiting for her to pass. I could feel.
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