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“I made a deal with you and I keep my word.”Without waiting for an invitation, she pushed her way past me into my house. I caught a whiff in passing; her hygiene was still lacking.“I’m still eating my breakfast,” I explained. “Can I interest you in bacon sandwiches and coffee?”“Ooh yes,” Mel eagerly replied.“Jacket,” I said to Mel’s back, and indicated a row of hooks just inside the door when she turned to look.As Mel eased herself out of her jacket, I recognised the holes in Mel’s t-shirt. Definitely the same as the day before. I took Mel’s jacket and hung it on a hook.I led the way into my kitchen, where I rescued the bacon already cooking from the grill, replacing it with some uncooked rashers from my fridge. I converted the cooked bacon into two sandwiches, one for me and the other for Mel.“Help yourself to condiments,” I said as I poured us each a coffee.Mel coated her bacon with a liberal coating of brown sauce. “You’ve got a big house,” she observed.“I’m well paid. Did you. But she had no son.Unbeknownst of men and the other Gods the God-King Osiris' penis, thethirteenth part, had been carelessly cast into the Nile by his brotherthe God Seth and had been consumed by a common fish. That's why theGoddesses Isis and Nephthys couldn't find it. And it is written amongstobscure texts long lost and forgotten of a fisherman named Jeffery, whomone day had caught an 'unusual' fish and had eaten it, and this hadchanged his life. It was told as local legend that this fisherman'spenis grew to uncommon length and girth, in fact to God-likeproportions, but his penis was not God-like in application. He remainedperpetually flaccid. The fisherman Jeffery could not achieve an erectionand could not have sexual relations with any woman (or man) includinghis own wife. The fisherman Jeffery became the brunt of manyuncomplimentary and unkind jokes including being named the fishermanLimp-Dick. His wife being a creature of pride and lust couldn't handleit so she left him, of.
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