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"He shook his head. "Unbelievably, I began to believe my own propaganda. I brooded on it. I managed to convince myself that maybe you really HAD cheated on me with David. I guess it was a case of thinking if I was cheating, then maybe you could have been also. It eased my guilt. As long as I could in some twisted way make myself the victim it was simple to go on with the affair."I changed the subject. "Do you know why I left?" I thought you had taken all you could. I thought maybe you had run off for a little bit, that I had pushed things too far. But I thought you would be back. I was all set to 'forgive you' and hope that everything would somehow return to normal. You didn't come back and you didn't come back. Then I got the divorce decree." He snorted. "The clerk never even told anyone she had filed it. I had never even dreamed you would do that, I never thought to inquire. The whole thing was another stick to keep you from seeing what was really going on." By the way, when I. Even with my very limited experience I knew my body looked quite different after sex. Surely a husband would know his wife’s body well enough to realise something was going on.“It’s amazing what a husband can ignore or not see at all,” she said frankly. “And of course at first our own sex life burst into life too. He loved that so much he didn’t question what was causing it.”This puzzled me. I would have thought that having a young lover would have reduced rather than increased her desire for her husband. I would have thought it would have made him suspicious too but when I said so, Lou was insistent.“Don’t you believe it, Linda. Once my stepson and I started sleeping together my libido absolutely soared. It might have partly been guilt but I found I needed my husband in bed more and more too. Our sex life blossomed; I had never had as much good sex in my life, even when I was a student.”“And your husband,” I asked, realising for the first time that Lou almost never talked about her.
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