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We consider whether she approves of this, or even enjoys it. Perhaps she is willfully playing the part. Perhaps, you think, because of some combination of vanity and arousal, she eagerly volunteers to be beaten and humiliated for your pleasure. But if you believe that, you do not know who she is. She volunteers to be beaten not to stimulate your fleeting and involuntary lusts, but because there is no limit to the desperation in her heart for your love and respect. If in your blind, indiscriminate stupor of arousal you cannot see her for who she is, you do not deserve her sublime and sacred beauty, much less her cooperation. And yet in her cooperation she screams loudest, exposing the depths of your pitiful insufficiency. I watch as she endures the abuse with dignity you could not fathom. I watch her wince and cry out in pain...sweat, bleed, choke. I weep for her, and for you, you miserable degenerate man. And yet, as I obsess in her suffering, my love for her trembles like an. ’ Despite everything in her, the drugs, the medications, and the alcohol something had stopped her from pulling the trigger. Until now. The pills were taking effect, her aim unsteady as she touched the razor in her skin. The pain was dulled to nothing as the sharp blade broke into her skin. A small bubble of blood spitting up where it broke flesh. Leslie looked into the mirror at her face. the light that was present years ago was gone. Her flesh now pale and starting to age from years of meth. Even her freckles looked like blackened sores to her. She pushed back a dyed blonde strand of hair and looked at the mirror then back down at her the start of her end. Leslie was starting to pull the razor when she was interrupted. She nearly dropped the blade in the sink as the buzz of the doorbell filled her home. ‘Can’t even die in peace.’ She thought to herself. On the one hand she was willing to let the bell ring as it just had, but the other repressed logical part of her won the.
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