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Someone always knew who I was with, where we were going and when I would be back. And I always carried my own protection…Magnums, of course. So Charles was no different. Except that he stood barely five foot four inches tall and a stiff breeze would have blown him away. His glasses were so thick that you could start a fire with those lenses. As cliché as it may seem, he even had a pocket protector hanging from his slightly rumbled green plaid shirt. Thankfully though his hair was not slick or combed across his head to hide a balding spot. Its soft brown curls more resembled the disarray of a young Albert Einstein. He definitely was NOT my type. But I always prided myself on being polite, as well as remembering how I had just lectured my teenage daughter on how unfair it was for her and her friends to judge others solely on looks. So I squared my shoulders, proudly thrusting out my 38D breasts against the thin white silk material. I extended my hand towards my coffee companion and. Even the fucking phone purrs here rather than rings. He thought and picked it up. ‘Good evening Mr. Simmonds.’ Began a female voice, in perfect, but very slightly Swiss/German accented English. ‘ I trust you and your partner had a pleasant journey?’ Before he could answer the voice went on. ‘ I was just calling to confirm that your ski guide will be there to meet you at 9:00am tomorrow morning. Richard had entirely forgotten that he had, at great expense, hired a guide to take him and Sarah off-piste the following day. He was to be taken to an area of unparalleled beauty were the guide would discretely disappear and he would go down on bended knee and request Sarah’s hand in marriage. ‘I’m afraid there has been something of a change of plan’ Richard began ‘and we…I will not be requiring the guide after all’. ‘Oh dear’ replied the voice. ‘I am sorry to hear that. You do, of course, realize that at this late stage no refund can be made on this booking?’ Great! thought Richard another.
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