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I had a conversation with a friend that turned me on my ear. As I had stated in NOH I was extremely enraged at the Christian god for ignoring me. When I say enraged I mean the Hulk on a rampage would be considered slightly ticked in comparison. My friend who has walked through this entire mess with me said to me: “I know why God’s ignoring you.”Me:”Why, other than the fact I’m an asshole?”Friend: “You killed God. You’ve spent your entire life searching for wisdom. You’ve studied religion, magick, psychology, all of it. You killed your belief in god long before you ever got sick. When you faced that darkness you knew you were the only one there and that you couldn’t answer your own prayer.”Me: “Wait a minute, You’re saying I’m mad at myself?”Friend: “Yes.”I felt the truth of his words and it was like he had run me through with a sword. I was speechless. It took me a couple of days to process what he had told me. He was in fact, correct. In my heart, I had killed God. Nobody is home or. Instead they got misappropriated to mean people are either Christians or heathens, and it's better to kill someone while saving them than it is for them to be eternally lost. I don't want anything similar here. I don't care whether anyone is Christian or not, and I can't imagine a God in heaven caring either." Slavery?" Becky asked skeptically. "I don't recall that being a primary motive in the Slave Trade at the time." No, but it was the justification for its acceptance by the Catholic and Protestant faiths. If the church hadn't been so quick to accept it, it never would have spread as far as it did. It may still have occurred, but the fact the church was so heavily invested in it removed all qualms about it." I'm glad you didn't include that," Melinda commented under her breath, which produced laughs by Becky and Winona. Alex ignored it though. He knew he was getting a bit extreme, but if he said the wrong thing it would get multiplied over time, and hundreds or thousands of people.
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